


And When I Think Of You, I Drown

by PhilTrashNo164



Category: The Incredibles (2004), The Incredibles 2 (2018)
Genre: Breakups, F/M, self discovery
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-16 04:05:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15428631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhilTrashNo164/pseuds/PhilTrashNo164
Summary: Summer 1969.“You’re breaking up with me,” Violet says, trying to catch Tony’s eye.He stares at the floor, scuffs his shoe, nods, even though it wasn’t a question.She considers the implications of this.They’d applied to the same colleges, because apparently she makes stupid decisions like that.(She hadn’t even wanted to go to college, but her parents were all “you need an education to fall back on so you can get a job in the civilian world if you ever want one blah blah blah”, why would she ever want a job in the civilian world?)It’ll kill her to see him around campus, some new girl hanging off his arm, loving him, getting loved in return.But that’s two months away.“Violet?” he says.She’s already disappeared.---Or:Violet’s 18, recently single, and in need of rediscovering herself.





	And When I Think Of You, I Drown

**Author's Note:**

> contains vague spoilers for The Incredibles 2. If any of you are unaware (like I was), The Incredibles 1 and 2 are set in a 60s-esque universe, which is why I set this in 1969 (I took a stab at the year).
> 
> In this fic we’re four years on from the events of the last movie, and Violet is now 18.

 

Isn’t it such a bummer when you fancy getting drunk on cocktails, but can’t ask the bartender for one ‘cause you’re underage-

 

(thanks, America)

 

-and that’d be illegal, and also ‘cause if the bartender sees you he might call security ‘cause technically you’re not supposed to be on this ship because you didn’t pay, you snuck on board and you’re hoping to remain ( _more than figuratively_ ) invisible, so technically you don’t exist, and that’s probably illegal too…

 

and yeah, sure you could sneak behind the bar at 2AM and try to pour a cocktail yourself, but is it really worth the effort?

 

Yeah, you probably don’t know what that feels like.

 

_Nobody_ knows what I feel like. That sounds all “oh, she’s being an overdramatic teenager”, but it’s true.

 

A lot of my life is spent feeling different to other people - _being_ different to other people. I thought I was cool with that.

 

I thought Tony accepted that, understood that, even _appreciated_ that about me.

 

Tony. I don’t want to think about him, so I roll over in the bed I secretly occupy in the cabin I secretly occupy on board the cruise ship I secretly climbed aboard, sink my face into a pillow.

 

Tony and I had no secrets. Is that healthy?

 

(I guess _I_ kept no secrets from _him_ \- he could have been holding back. I pray he wasn’t. I wanted to know _all_ of him. Is that healthy?)

 

Mom and Dad thought I was going on a cruise the normal, ordinary, legal way. I told them I’d paid for my ticket and that yes I could drive myself there, it’s only a two-hour drive, Dad, god, I’m an adult now, I know how to drive, yes work was fine about it, no you don’t have to give me money for the parking lot, no you don’t have to wave me off from the dock, yes I love you Dad, love you too Mom, yes I’ll eat some vegetables, love you just a little Dash, bye bye Jack-Jack, I’ll be back before you know it, OK I’m off!

 

I was lucky that one couple who were supposed to be going on the cruise were too sick to go on vacation, so I got to stowaway in the empty cabin (I saw their name crossed out on the passenger list). Otherwise I probably would have had to fall asleep each night on one of the deckchairs.

 

It was weird being so alone. I’d wanted it that way, but still. Understandably, my parents were still a little wary about cruises. We hadn’t been on one since that time Mom and Dad and Lucius were hypnotised and did the whole “I’m going to kill you” thing. I can’t say I blame them.

 

They wouldn’t have understood, if I’d said I was going to be invisible the whole trip. They would have worried.

 

I did a lot of being invisible when Tony first broke up with me. Mom wanted me to see a therapist, said it wasn’t healthy to hide away like that. But I like it.

 

Well, I thought I liked it. I’ve been onboard this ship for two days, and it’s starting to get a little lonely. I sneak out for food from the buffets and watch as all around me people laugh and talk and are in love and happy, and at first I liked that, being the observer.

 

There’s a difference between being alone and being lonely. I guess I was stupid to think one wouldn’t blend into the other. Especially now Tony’s-

 

No. I can do _just_ fine without him. I even told him that.

 

It's time to move on.

 

*

 

I had Edna make me an extra suit, since it can get a little gross being in the same one all the time. This one’s purple with sparkles. I _know._

 

(“It’s so you can remind yourself that you stand out, and that that’s fabulous, even when you’re invisible, dah-ling!”)

 

But hey, purple sparkles. Works well as a bathing suit, according to Edna. She even made me a towel that could go invisible. I didn’t actually tell her where I was going, what I’d be doing. That woman has crazy intuition.

 

I sit up, shuffle to the edge of the bed, place one foot on the floor. Am I really about to do this? The rest of the passengers had welcome drinks the evening we all got on board, what if they realise I wasn’t there, that they don’t recognise me, and alert someone?

 

I just want to go in the outdoor pool whilst the sun’s out, maybe even smile at someone else, or say “hi”. I want to exist, after days of wanting to disappear. Is that really such a crime?

 

I keep myself invisible for the walk from cabin to pool, just to be sure. Towel invisible and wrapped around my waist.

 

The pool isn’t super busy, because it’s mid-afternoon-coffee-and-cake time. Perfect.

 

I hover at the side of the pool, tie my hair back, and then in a blink I’m visible again. You know that feeling like everyone is watching you? I always get that when I’m not invisible. It’s part “what if they recognise I’m a Super?” and part just, anxiety, I guess.

 

Nobody’s looking at me. I feel myself relax.

 

It feels weird tying my hair back. A couple of months ago I got it cut to my shoulders, and I’m still expecting there to be more hair than there actually is.

 

(Tony said he liked my new hair. Why did I immediately think that? Why does everything have to come back to him?)

 

I shake my head to get Tony out of it, and dip a toe in the pool. It’s pleasantly cool. I place my now-visible towel on an empty deckchair, walk to the deep end, take a deep breath.

 

Dive.

 

Everything bad disappears when you’re underwater. Your sight gets kinda hazy, distorted, _magic_. Your hearing turns to echoes. It’s beautiful.

 

I swim down to the bottom of the pool, touch my hands against the floor. I want to stay there, just for forty minutes or so, but my lungs start protesting after less than forty seconds, so I surface again.

 

The noise and the brightness are back. Back to the real world.

 

I take big gulping breaths until I’m able to even out my breathing, look around the pool and deck. A baby with armbands giggles at the shallow end of the pool, and I smile. We’d never been able to take Jack-Jack out in public at that age, in case he set himself on fire or teleported to another dimension or did another thing that non-Supers really shouldn’t do. Now he’s got more control over his powers, and can be seen outside without compromising our identities, he loves swimming.

 

I jump as a splash sounds beside me. A kid around Dash’s age rises to the surface of the pool, whooping. I smile at her too.

 

I swim a few laps, but I can’t quite block Tony out. The thoughts come rushing in, even as I push myself to swim faster, longer, go down deeper:

 

We were going to be together forever, he’d said. Childhood sweethearts who’d grow old together, and before that he’d support me with my “Super stuff” by becoming a lawyer and continuing the fight for Super rights, and no, of course our professional and personal lives wouldn’t become tangled and bleed into each other and cause issues, of course not, it’d all be perfect!

 

We’d discussed kids last year. I’d been on the fence - I was so young, I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t sure, I wanted a career first, if kids did have to happen.

 

He really really wanted kids. I’d brushed off our possible incompatibility by thinking I’d worry about it later, five years down the line. Right then was for our transient happiness.

 

He also didn’t like it when I went off saving the world. He worried about me, he said. He wanted me to be safe.

 

He wanted me to be different to what I was.

 

God, how drugged up on love had I been?

 

He meant no harm by it. He wouldn’t hurt a fly. He loved me.

 

But if he loved me, why did he end it?

 

“We shouldn’t tie each other down,” he’d said. “Mom says college is for self-discovery. We’d just hold each other back.”

 

Which is just a way of saying that he wanted the chance to climb into bed with someone else. Maybe a lot of someone else’s.

 

I sink back to the bottom of the pool and stay there until I nearly choke.

**Author's Note:**

> say hi on tumblr at mysticalkoalamiracle! :))


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